The whole time, my stocky construction worker chums were running around, grabbing supplies from the depot, hammering away at walls, screwing in light bulbs, carrying toilets and beds, and generally doing a really good job. Of course this was entirely my fault, as I still needed to hook everything up to the electricity and water mains. After another job well done, I perused my burgeoning jail, but something was amiss. Things were starting to come together nicely, but I was becoming increasingly aware that the arrival of my first inmates was sneaking up on me.Īll of these facilities were effectively useless without water and power, so I built yet another room to house my utilities. I didn’t want the prisoners to starve, so I constructed a canteen, and of course that meant I also had to build a kitchen, and each of those rooms needed the relevant objects like tables, service areas, an oven, a fridge - it was a long list. I was going for an en-suite feel, but it ended up being a little less luxurious, with all these facilities crammed into a small block. I had some space left over, so I built some showers at the end of the block. I didn’t want the prisoners crapping on the floor, after all. I built the walls (always a good place to begin), then assigned a room (my first holding cell), and added in some final, but necessary, touches, like beds and loos. I was quite literally whistling as I worked, and things were coming together rather nicely. Sound advice, I thought, and I took it to heart. The goal was to save money and time as I was just starting up. In a letter from some Prison CEO chap - he had a mustache and thus appeared legit - I was advised to construct a large communal holding cell instead of individual cells. Luckily, construction workers are rather diligent in Prison Architect, so that left me with more than enough time to create the bare essentials. I had buckets of cash, a huge plot of land, and eight inmates arriving in a day. Contrary to my real-life proclivities, I’m rather fond of management, and, indeed, micro-management in these here videogames. I was looking forward to getting stuck in.
I’m going to make the best darned prison in all the land, I thought to myself.
I started my first day of work with the best of intentions. It’s probably rather telling about my lack of experience with the prison system that I actually expected whimsy.
I’m not sure why, but I thought it might be a good laugh, this whole Prison Architectlark. I suspect that actual prison architects have a lot less hands-on time with functioning penitentiaries, but I don’t know any to ask. Actually, facilitating the running of them, more often than not. Well, I can scratch another item of my list of sentences I never expected to utter. I’ve been designing some prisons recently.